One of the issues we often see at Centre for Human Potential is how LGBTI people are negatively impacted by others’ ideas of what is supposed to be ‘male’ and ‘female’. Our communities have great freedom to express variations of gender and sexual orientations but can still have issues when faced by others wanting to pigeon hole them into stereotyped gender expectations.

Some gender based discrimination from straight and LGBTI communities stems from what’s called ‘oppositional sexism.’ This refers to a deeply held belief in our society that we are taught from a very young age that women and men are supposed to be opposite in almost every way. This includes men being more ‘butch’, assertive and physically strong and women are supposed to be ‘pretty’, and speak and behave in a soft and gentle manner.

Some people naturally fit well these stereotypes, however there are many more that don’t. Straight and LGBTI people often put down masculine women and feminine men, transgender and intersex people in our communities, so we cop it from all angles.

The issue of oppositional sexism can have a real impact on transgender people who have to live as a person of the other gender for a period of time prior to being able to have surgery. For many, to act and dress as a stereotypical male or female doesn’t express who they really are. This can lead to some feeling the need to be overtly typically masculine or feminine to make others feel more secure about their transitioning. The problem with this is that trying to be someone who you are not isn’t psychologically healthy. We need to keep reminding ourselves and others in our communities to celebrate the incredible diversity we have, hold back any judgement of others and continue to create the most inclusive space possible for people no matter how they express ‘masculinity’ or ‘femininity’.

Paul Martin the the Principle Psychologist at Centre for Human Potential. www.cfhp.com.au