The words passive aggressive conjure up images of a bitchy bottom in shiny leather with sharp teeth. They are also words that describe a destructive tendency that many people have which means that they are angry and people know it, but they don’t say any thing.

The opposite to passive aggression can be how you behave when it is too strong. This taps into a primitive part of the brain and doesn’t see sense, and you end up screeching and throwing wigs and packets of false eyelashes across crowded bars, which isn’t a great look.

Anger is an emotion which plays an impor tant role for humans. It protects us and those we love from danger, aler ts us to when we’re being used or hur t and it moves us into action when needed.

The problem with passive aggression is that if you keep pushing anger down, it’s like holding a ball under water, eventually it comes out when you least expect it and wacks you on the head. Anger leaks out in the form of behaviours such as not returning someone’s call, doing something you know will piss them of f, or not doing something you know is helpful.

Passive aggression is one of the most toxic forms of anger. It leaves people not knowing what is wrong and what they can do to fix the problem and can erode relationships.

If you are passive aggressive take responsibility for changing and ask someone you love to let you know when you’re doing it. Then practice expressing how you really feel, it will be anxiety provoking at the start but it will eventually be wor th the effort!