What do women really want - The Lesbian Dating Experience.

By Kylie Mitchell

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard someone say, “It must be so much easier to date a woman” I think I may just hit them up the back of the head.  From my experience a woman dating another woman is no easier than a dating heterosexual couple.  We still have the same challenges, there is still the getting to know each other, dealing with the differences and learning to discuss the problems.

Lesbian dating still requires courting, romance and patience.  Unless of course you happen to fall into bed reasonably drunk, after staring longingly at each other all night across a crowded night club, and after a short bout of bumping and grinding on the dance floor, are completely convinced that this is the one, even if it is just for the night.

The running joke of “What does a Lesbian bring to her second date.. A U-haul” is another generalisation that drives me up the wall. I can not deny that a lot of Lesbian relationships move at an accelerated rate, possibly due to the whole nesting desire.   But there are still quiet a few of us who like to take our time to make sure that we are not rushing into a relationship that burns like fire for a few weeks and simmers out as quickly while the truck driving away.

Some dates are still the excruciating long process of a lot of silence as you try to figure out what to say,  or the mistake of trying to break the silence with laughter and completely offending the other person…don't pretend it doesn't happen….Others you find yourself talking into the small hours of the morning with only enough time to race home and have a quick shower, change your clothes and get your butt to work while guzzling a rather large quantity of caffeine to help you get through the morning, whilst trying to stop that silly grin that keeps creeping up on your face, away.

So what do women really want?  To be honest I have no idea.  I find myself reasonably old fashioned when it comes to dating, and like to take a bit of time courting.  Movies, dinners, walks, drives, and I believe that chivalry is not dead, There is nothing wrong with opening a door and waiting for your date to enter the room first.  Of course the added bonus to this is the view from behind.

So I thought I would talk to a few lesbians and ask what they were looking for during the dating experience. As expected the results were varied. Sex was high on the list, after all it is the 21st century so why not.

Relationships are relationships regardless of sexuality and many of the basics came in to play. Walks in the moonlight, gentle hands, lots of cuddles, and no expectations topped the list. Some want lots of laughter and spontaneity, a bit of risk taking and someone up for new adventures.  Others are looking for trust, and others just want to date someone who is not afraid to make a move.  Lets be honest there is nothing more awkward than sitting there knowing that both parties want to experience that first kiss, but neither is bold enough to make the move.

Some want the no rubbish approach.  Open, honest, no deception or little white lies.  I like to think this is the, don't waste my time approach.  “Lets figure out if this works, and if not, just call it quits and move on”.

The more I talk to lesbians the more I realize that I still have no idea what women want, but that has certainly not put me off trying to figure it out. I guess what we are all really looking for is someone that makes our world sizzle and knowing that even though the excitement will eventually die down, that they are someone who makes you laugh and you feel secure enough with to ride out the ups and downs

Everyone is different so are their expectations of dating.  So I say why not spice it up and keep it new and see what happens. Don't stop looking just because so far your luck has been lacking.  Eventually that fire will ignite and continue to burn through out the no longer lonely nights.